Dear Mr. Sunderland (sundy 92),
          We worked really hard on this website and we hope you like it! 
 Sincerely,
Eliza and Melina
Sunderland-Polished Draft
5/23/2010

Nice job. Good draft. Some comments:

-the "revolution" part of your thesis/argument is unclear. What is revolutionary?

-Youtube video should be taken out. It is not academically serious enough and it's too long.

-Generally good use of bullets and images but it does get too texty at times.

-Each page should have a meaningful title and a topic sentence. After that, phrases and bullets.

-Overall, a real nice draft. 45/50

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